學(xué)生第一次來郵:

我的寫作成績(jī)值得復(fù)議嗎?

老師,

您好. 我在您批改的作文中大多得6+, 您對(duì)我的評(píng)語就是英語表達(dá)超6,組織得好就能拿7的那位同學(xué).

我在9月23日參加的考試,寫作居然只有5分.那次的大作文寫的是越來越多的人開私家車,說說優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn).我是這樣寫的:

優(yōu)點(diǎn):私家車能繁榮經(jīng)濟(jì), 特別是汽車工業(yè).

方便, 能隨時(shí)隨地到任何地方,不用象公交車一樣限定線路和時(shí)間.

舒適, 不用擠公交車.

缺點(diǎn):令道路更堵塞,特別是上下班高峰期.

汽油供應(yīng)短缺,很多私家車需要排隊(duì)加油

造成更多的環(huán)境污染.

結(jié)尾: 認(rèn)為開私家車的缺點(diǎn)大于優(yōu)點(diǎn).

考完出來自我感覺良好, 不知是否我這樣寫離題了才得個(gè)5分, 還請(qǐng)老師指點(diǎn).

我這樣寫可以拿6分嗎? 我想申請(qǐng)成績(jī)復(fù)議, 值得這樣做嗎?

老師回復(fù):

yes,i think u'd better go for an application of reevaluating. anyway, i’ll still need to tell u some mistakes u made.

now let me try to simulate how the examiner was looking at your task2 n then drew such a stupid conclusion.

the first idea is not based on comparison and contrast----more private cars help boom the car manufacturing industryà not a right idea. but the second one hits the point---convenience. how about the drawbacks? traffic jams caused---hmmmm..good idea. more pollution is created---good too. but queue to fill up tanks with gasoline----hmmmm...u might not express it in a coherent way.

after all, u included one good point for the positive side n one for the negative side. i believe u definitely deserve a chance to get band 6. the examiner probably only read the first bit of the advantages n then turned to briefly examine the last part and hence marked your paper like this. if u apply for reassessing, the entire paper will be scrutinized by another examiner, n the good points will not be missed. this is why i tend to encourage u to have a try.

if unclear, call me .

good luck!

Andrew

學(xué)生最后來郵

I'm glad to tell you that my writing is re-marked as band 6. Thank you very much for the encouragement, otherwise I may lose the confidence to apply the remark.