惡搞版羅密歐與朱麗葉英語(yǔ)話劇
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羅密歐是一個(gè)非常帥的小伙子,而朱麗葉卻是150公斤中的胖妞。這一天,朱麗葉害羞地向羅密歐表達(dá)了愛(ài)意,但是被羅密歐拒絕了—他要的是一個(gè)苗條的女孩。于是,朱麗葉決心減肥。她減肥能否成功呢?最終她是否得到了羅密歐的心呢?

Scene I

Julia and Romeo are classmates. Julia has liked Romeo for a long time. Today, Julia determines to show her feelings to Romeo. He passes by Betty and Clover. Allen and Julia are waiting for the bus. )

Betty & Clover: Wow…so handsome.

Julia: Hi, Romeo.

Romeo: Hi.

Julia: Your clothes fit you well.

Romeo: Oh! Thanks. You look charming, too.

Julia: Oh! Really? In fact, I ……have something to tell you.

Romeo: What is it?

Julia: Un ~It’s a little difficult to say. Just…just… (shy!)

Romeo: Just what?

Julia: Just…I like you!! (determined)

(Romeo and Julia stop action)

Clover: Oh! My goodness! Do you hear what she said?

Betty: Yeah! To my surprise.

Clover: Look at her! So fat, so black, and…

Betty: And so flat. (point at Julia’s breast)

Allen: Yeah….you can say that again.

Romeo: (surprised) But I want a thin girl.

Julia: Okay! Give me some time. And I’ll show you.

Scene II

(Julia had a plan of losing weight. First, she went to the famous weight control center. )

Angel: Welcome to “Perfect Woman.”

Julia: I’d like to talk to your manager.

Angle: Please wait a moment.

Julia: Okay, thank you.

Emma: I’m the manager. May I help you?

Julia: I want to become a thin woman in a very short time.

Emma: No problem. A lot of people want to get thinner in a short time. You’re not alone. Let Angel show you.

(Take a pile of paper. Skim the paper quickly.)

Angle: Okay! First, trust me you can make it. Here, we have two programs. The first one includes “aroma oil massage”, “aroma oil treatment” and “acupuncture.” It only costs you 20 thousand dollars.

Julia: Oh……

Angle: The other is much cheaper. We have “aerobics”, “acupuncture” and “spa.” It’s only 10 thousand dollars.

Emma: So which one do you prefer? Trust me, they’ll both made you thin and sexy.

Julia: I like both. But I have no money.

Emma & Angle: What? (Clap hands twice. And then two strong men come in and

throw Julia out)

Two men: Get out of here.

(Julia goes to the pharmacy to buy the most popular medicine “Slim Body” )

Frank: May I help you?

Julia: Do you have this kind of medicine called “Slim Body”?

Frank: Of course we do.

(Now, Jason comes in at the same time.)

Jason: Frank, do you have “Slim Body”? I want to buy more. It makes me lose weight from 150 kilos to 70 kilos.

Frank: Wow. Amazing! Here you are!

Jason: Thanks. (Go out.)

Julia: I want to buy a dozen of it. (After eating “Slim Body”, Julia gets the trots. Julia failed again. Then, she decided to go on a diet.)

(In the restaurant)

Clerk: Can I take your order?

Clover: French fries, chicken and a large cola.

Betty: Hamburger, one large milk shake.

Allen: Roasted pork and ice cream.

Clerk: Anything for you?

Julia: Please give me a cup of water and some crackers. (Surprised by Julia’s order, they all turn their heads toward her.)

Clerk: That’s all?

Julia: Yeah…(Julia looks at Allen, Clover and Betty enjoying their food. And Julia is very hungry. But she can’t eat. She wants to lose weight. Then, she passes out.)

Julia: I want to be slim!

(A month later)

Julia: I’ve become a thin girl. Now I can go to see Romeo. And he’s gonna accept me. Romeo, Romeo…..(Yell...Julia meets Romeo.)

Julia: Hi, my dear Romeo. I’ve become a thin girl. Would you be my boyfriend?

Romeo: Oh, Julia you look so different now. But I like girls with fair complexion.

Julia: Oh, um……Ok, wait for me.

Scene III

( Julia’s friends come visit her, and want to invite Julia to the beach.)

Allen: The weather is nice for going out. We want to go to the beach. Would you like to join us?

Julia: I’d like to… but it’s too hot. I don’t want to get a tan.

Allen: Don’t worry. We won’t spend too much time staying in the sun.

Clover: Come on, come on.

Carol: Come with us.

Julia: Okay…give me a little time to prepare for that.

(Few minutes later)

Allen: Are you done?

Julia & Clover & Carol: Yes, we’re coming.

Julia: Oh, I forget something.

Allen & Clover & Carol: What? (She comes out with a lot of protections for her face.)

(Two months later, Julia has become a girl with a fair complexion. And there are many boys who go after her, but all of them are turned down. Julia decided to show her love to Romeo one more time)

Julia: Romeo, my love. I’ve become a thin girl with a fair complexion. Would you accept me?

Romeo: Oh, Julia. You look terrific. But……your bosom is not my type.

Julia: Oh, um……I know, I know……

Scene IV

(Julia goes to Korea, and finds the most famous plastic surgeon….)

Julia: Doctor, I want to make my bosom bigger.

Doctor: What size do you want?

Julia: I prefer G cup.

Doctor: No problem. We can make it come true.

(After the surgery, Julia is more confident than before. And she decide to show her feelings to Romeo for the last time.)

Julia: I think I ‘m a perfect woman now. Romeo will be very proud to have me. Romeo, Romeo......Romeo, look at me! Don’t you think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world? You would love to be my sweet heart, wouldn’t you?

Romeo: Wow! You’ve become so beautiful. But I can not accept you.

Julia: Why? I’ve done so many things for you.

Romeo: Because I already have a boyfriend.

Julia: Boyfriend?

(Allen shows up.)

Romeo: Honey~

(Allen and Romeo walk away hand in hand.)

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